Forgive me. It has been x amount of weeks since my last blogging. This blog will be more serious and my only good joke was the first two sentences.
My Grandma passed away on August 28th and I'm still reeling with waves of emotions. I'm good at putting stuff out of my mind. I'm good at focusing on being goofy and sarcastic; ways in which I can mask my suffering. I had started this post weeks ago but as part of my avoidance with the issue I put the post out of my head. My original title for this post was "The long goodbye" which felt fitting except the goodbye part. I didn't get my goodbye.
The other day as I was happily avoiding my emotions a song came on and slapped the mask right off of my face. I was listening to Pandora and Johnny Cash was singing "If you could read my mind" which you MUST listen to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lukJAutj4jo&feature=like-suggest&list=UL. His voice cracks and suffers and you can tell it's real. The lyrics don't mirror my situation but the way Cash sings it does. The way in which he is telling the story is what's important,that's how the connection was made for me.
Although I am interested in the lyrics and the story they tell. There seems to be this couple who are stuck: "I never thought" "I don't know" "Can't get it back" "Just don't get it" "Just trying to understand". And stuck is something I can relate to. So as Johnny Cash's voice reverberated through the speakers I felt a oneness with him. His pain wasn't just his own, it was mine too.
Music (movies&t.v.) is my talisman or amulet. For a brief moment it covers me with protection. Perhaps protection is too strong of a word. No, my talisman and amulet's allow me to have a sense of being--being connected to feelings and moments. There is no protection but rather a moment when walls break and I am allowed to connect my deepest feelings with the song, movie, etc.
"I've got to say that I just don't get it"
I don't get it either. And if I could read my mind perhaps I would.
I have, however, enjoyed this discussion of a song's profound affects upon human beings.
Questions? Comments?
